Revisiting the 100 things I love about you

I wrote this a few years ago and feel like I should revisit it and add to it. I love you Jason.

1. That you love me for me
2. That my heart pounds with excitement when I know you will soon be home
3. That you cook for all of us
4. That I know I can always count on you for anything
5. That you work so hard and accomplished so much for our family
6. That you love our children
7. That you are an awesome DaDee
8. That you change diapers
9. That you get up with the kids because it's hard for me to go back to sleep
10. That you love holding little babies now that you have held your own
11. That you have the softest hair that I love to touch
12. That little spot that I just love
13. That you have the nicest tasting neck
14. That you will vacuum my hair
15. The little freckles on your nose
16. That you humor me with my party obsessions and even help out
17. That you never yell at me
18. That you tolerate my bargain hunting and are even proud of me for it
19. That you make the most yummy brownies
20. That you scrape my windows in the winter
21. That you do laundry
22. That you spell feel your own special way and it makes me smile
23. That you will drive whenever we go somewhere
24. That you love the beach so much
25. That you have the most amazing heart and soul
26. That you never left my side when I was in labor with Liam
27. That you went to every appt. with me when I was pregnant
28. That you went to all the fertility appts even though I know it had to be hard for you
29. That you were afraid to give me the shots because it would hurt me
30. That you would pick me up from high school on your motorcycle
31. That you wrote in my crazy little diary with me when we were dating
32. That you would drive up from school just to see me
33. That you took me to my senior prom even though I don't think you really wanted to
34. That you cared enough about me to start driving towards Florida to save me when things went bad with the visit with Lee
35. That you asked me to be your wife. The best thing that has ever happened to me
36. That you got the ring I wanted for me even though it wasn't a true engagement ring
37. That you loved me enough to marry me even though your parents opposed
38. The pride and love I saw on your face when I looked down the aisle and saw you waiting for me
39. That you took my hand, made me a promise of forever and married me on August 17, 1991
40. That you worked so hard and quickly to be able to find a place for us to live in Hawaii so we could begin our life together
41. That you went to Haiti to do your part to help those people have a better life. Even though it almost killed me to have you leave.
42. That you were worried about me not being able to drive the Festiva while you were gone so you made sure I got the van I wanted before you left.
43. The site of you the day you returned from Haiti. I was so afraid of what it would be like between us but you were as wonderful as ever
44. The amazement and happiness you shared with me when we learned we were finally pregnant
45. That you were just so excited about our pending baby that you agreed to buying the carseat/stroller and then we were both so excited we forgot to pick it up from the store
46. That you sat and held me and cried with me after we left the hospital that horrible day
47. That you never forgot that baby and the importance it meant to me
48. That you were willing to continue to fight infertility even after we lost the baby
49. You never blamed me or made me feel bad about not being able to have kids
50. That you knew I was pregnant with Liam before I would accept it
51. That you were the one to read the pregnancy test and to tell me that it was +
52. That you cried for me when they said I had to have a c-section since you knew I didn't want that.
53. The look of love, pride and amazement on your face when you saw your son for the first time
54. That you were so worried about me that I had to make you go be with him in the delivery room
55. That you were right beside me for every trip down the hall of the hospital to feed Liam while he was in NICU
56. That when I woke you up to watch Thursdays child you didn't get mad you got interested and went looking for more information
57. That you got all the information so we could get in to the foster parenting classes
58. The look you gave me when you were telling me about Brenna needing a home
59. That you volunteered to speak at Landon and Lexis adoption hearing so I didn't have to.
60. That you look incredible in blue and I adore you in a tuxedo
61. You look even more wonderful in nothing at all
62. That you feel guilty for the past even though I don't want you to.
63. That you are game for what ever craziness I come up with and don't make me feel silly
64. That you have that neat little soft spot and you don't mind letting me pet it.
65. That you are having as much fun as I am lately
66. That you come to help me out at gymnastics class because you can
67. You stood by me on the battle of lasagna
68. That you always make sure I get a Maaaah before the babies go to bed
69. That you talk to my mom on the phone when I am too tired to do it
70. That I can make you blush with just a few words
71. That you mow the grass and shovel the snow
72. That you always remember to take out the trash
73. That you will bring me a drink of water when I am thirsty
74. That you watch silly boy shows on TV
75. That when you are so happy you cry. It makes me love you even more
76. That you wanted me to have the non broken couch even though I broke the other one
77. That you talk to sales people because I am too chicken to do it.
78. That you think about me when we are apart
79. That you cant stop thinking about me and what it does to you when you do
80. That you are the meaning in my life you are my inspiration
81. That you made me that little heart out of cheese for breakfast and the heart out of fireworks on the balcony of your first apartment
82. That the first time we made love you kept asking if it was ok.
83. That you made sure that I was alright and thought of more than just you
84. That you let me play, learn and explore with you
85. That you shaved my legs in places I couldn't
86. That you will share a shower or bath with me any chance you get
87. That you slept nakey with me and even stayed near me instead of running to the other side of the bed
88. That you were my ponytail holder. I love when you touch my hair
89. That you can make me feel earthquakes, umbrellas, and crunched up all in the same weekend
90. That your voice gets all raspy when I start looking at you in just the right way.
91. The way you reach over and touch my leg when we are riding in the car
92. That you will carry things up the stairs for me
93. That you can fix about anything in our house
94. That you have handled all of Lexis behavior corp appts
95. That the smell of your leather jacket and you makes my head spin
96. That you shared your fantasy thoughts with me
97. That you are my dream come true.
98. That I still wake up some mornings not believing it is really you that I have gotten to share my life with
99. Of all the people, in all of the world that I was lucky enough to be blessed with the gift of having you as my husband.
100. That all the time growing up I dreamt of my prince and my life as a wife and mother and you have made this journey better than any of the dreams I could have dreamt.

For all of these reasons and many, many more I love and adore you Jason. You are my light, my love, my best friend. My world would not be right in any way if you were not a part of it. In the future if things start heading back down the road of separate ways, feel free to leave this out for me to read so I will remember all the wonderful reasons I am blessed to have you in my heart and life. You are my heart and I adore you with all of my being.

It's almost that time

Can you believe it in less than a month we will celebrate 19 years of marriage? 19 years of sleeping next to you at night. 19 years of knowing I couldn't have gotten a better man to be my partner. 19 years of holding your hand, you know in just the right way. 19 years of you always being there to take care of me in the big ways or the little ways. 6 places we have called home. 5 kids we are raising together . 3 we wish we would have gotten to raise. The dreams we have shared, the ones we have made come true and the ones we had to let go of because life had other things in mind. I love you for all that you are, all that you do and for always being there for all of us. You rock my baby and I love you.

Names, Names, Names, everybodys got one

This was posted to my hubby's page in error. You can now find this at our family page Scoop From MaMee

I am so thankful for you this Thanksgiving.

As I snuggled in bed with you this morning of the eve of Thanksgiving I placed my hand on your chest and felt that comforting beat of your heart. It filled my heart with such comfort just feeling your life force beneath my hand. Then you shifted and my hand fell from your chest and on to your arm. You immediately placed your hand over mine and I cried as you slept holding my hand. I meant even more to me when you said you weren't awake when you did it. I love you honey you mean so much to me and I love just being next to you and feeling your skin on mine. Having you next to me fills my heart to full. I love your touch, your soul, YOU.

Then as I stood in the bathroom, while you were downstairs with the kids I kept creeping back to the first days of our marriage. How scared I was because I loved you so much but you seemed to be pulled away from me emotionally. It broke my heart to feel this big void between us. I was so scared that you didn't really want to be with me. I saw that you loved me but that void scared me and made me think you didn't really want to be there. I was so confused that you chose to be with me but than pushed me away. I know it hurts you when I ask you about it but it also hurts me when I think about it, I feel like I let you down and wasn't enough for you. But then today as I stood thinking of you and how things are now it dawned on me that perhaps the void I felt was your self protection. That you grew up not feeling that close to your family and perhaps you were scared of going there with me. Then I thought about how far you have come in the 20 years and I know how scared you were to come out of that box. I am so glad that you trust me with you. I have loved getting closer to you and learning about you. Thank you for letting me in.

I love this new place we are at. I never would have dreamt we would be here. That we would be able to play, share, and be together the way we are. So this Thanksgiving, I am feeling so thankful for you and that you chose me to get to be with you for the rest of our lives. I love you my honey. Thank you for you being you with me.

I love you so very much.

Roller Boy, I love you.

Honey, I loved watching you skate this weekend. It brought back so many wonderful memories of going to the rink and watching you as skate guard. You were/are such an amazing skater and I was always so proud to say you were mine. The look on your face as you skated around the rink was the same look I use to see 20 years ago. You looked so free and happy. You had that adorable little smile and you could just see how much you were enjoying yourself.

I am so proud of what you have accomplished for yourself in the past few weeks you have been competing in the Biggest Loser Contest at work. I know it's not working as fast as you would like but you are always making progress and that is what matters. I love the dedication and determination you are showing. I am so proud of you honey. You amaze me.

Happy New Year Honey

What a wonderful winter break it was to be able to spend 2 weeks with you and the kids. Thank you for all you did during your vacation for us. It was so nice to get to just be together for a while. I am so blessed to have you and though I don't always do a great job of telling you and showing you I am very grateful for you everyday. I love you Honey.

Thank you

I just wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for all the hard work you have been doing to make our house less chaotic. I loved coming home from the show and having a nice clean room and clean clothes put away. Taking on the garage sale over the weekend with no planning. We didn't make much but our garage sure looks better.

I appreciate you giving me the special day with Liam on Sunday. It was so much fun going to the Children's Museum and watching him get so excited at helping to build the lego dragon. He was so proud to go on the civic tour with your dad. At the end of the show he went running to the pit so he could see them actually playing. Even having him be sort of scared of the end of the show was nice change as he snuggled up to me. I am grateful that you took on the craziness of home so we could go. Thank you, I love you, I adore you, you are my world.

17 years ago and it's still wonderful

Hey Honey

Today is our 17th anniversary and I can't believe it really has been 17 years since we stood looking each other in the eye and said I do. But then again I think of all we have done and accomplished and think wow we did all of that in only 17 years. Through it all you have been my rock, my heart, my soul and my safe place.

I remember the early days of our married life and worrying that when I woke up I would find out it was all dream and you weren't really there with me. I am so glad you have made all of my dreams come true. I couldn't have been blessed by a more wonderful partner. I am always amazed when I hear from others about what their husband does and doesn't do and think of you and how different you are from the majority. I am so lucky to have you and love that you:

Change Diapers
Do Dishes
Do Laundry
Get up at night with the babes
Feed babies
Buy groceries
Buy girly products for me
Take kids with you to the store
Write blogs for me ;0)
Give baths
Clean bathrooms
Bake
Keep your kids not babysit them
and many many many more things that make feel even more blessed that I get to share my life with you.

I am glad that we are still showing them that we can do, as long as we do it together. Thank you for the amazing blog, it is more wonderful to me than you will ever know. I adore you my prince. YOU have made all of my dreams come true and more. You are amazing and I love you.

Today is Father in Law's Day

Today is Father In Law's day so I was sending your Dad and e-card and it made me think of you.

You amaze me more each and every day I share my life with you. I can't imagine a more wonderful man to walk through life with. I love to watch you with our kiddos, you are such an amazing father. You have the patience of a saint with them, could you share some of that with me. I love the way you care for them and for me. We are so blessed to have you, honey. Thank you for loving all of us.

I appreciate all you did for me in honor of my birthday last week. Even though the day didn't turn out like you had planned, you still made me feel special. I loved that you colored my hair for me the night before. I am sorry that it made me cry, I couldn't help thinking how special you are and how many husbands wouldn't even consider doing that for their wives, let alone buy the color and plan it all out. YOU ARE AMAZING and I ADORE YOU!

Happy DaDee's Day

Happy DaDee's Day to the most amazing DaDee I know. Who would have thought you would celebrate this year with 5 kiddos. Your amazing heart and soul touches me each and every time I look in to your eyes. Your ability to whole heartedly take in these kids that need you is amazing. I feel so blessed to say that you are the father of our children.

You are a wonderful dad to all 5 of them. I still can't believe that you get up with little man every night. It sure makes my day easier dealing with the other kiddos but I worry it makes your day harder. Your ability to make most things fun is a wonderful gift, I love to see all of you laughing and playing together. There is nothing more touching then seeing you with stars in your eyes watching your children or gazing at a baby. I love you so much, I wish I could give you the moon and stars for Father's day but I hope the bagels and muffins show you a little of how wonderful and sweet you are. Keep being the amazing man that you are. You are making a huge difference in this world in what you do each and every day with your children. I admire and adore you my darling. Happy DaDee's day my love.

What a wonderful weekend

My darling husband what a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for planning everything for us. It was great to just be with you and only you and do absolutely nothing else. I loved napping in your arms on Saturday, I don't think I have ever had such a wonderful nap in all my life. You are so amazing to me, it always surprises me to learn something new about you after 20 years of having you in my life I think sometimes there can't be anything I don't know and you surprise me again. I ADORE YOU> Thank you for being you and sharing you with me. I love you.

Stepping out of the box

Hey Baby I know you like your safe and cozy box and find it scary outside of your box but I am so proud of you for stepping out of your box. Thank you for trusting me with you. You are amazing and I love you so much.

Do you remember when?

I am listening to a song and it made me think of all of our remember whens. Do you remember when....

We first met? I remember the feeling of my heart leaping and being confused as to why. How could you have that effect on my I was only 14 and had just met you?

We went out on that first date? I was so scared and excited I didn't know what to do or say.

You went out with us for birthday limo ride? We drove through Arby's drive through and had a great time. Do you remember what happened that night? I wish things had been different, that I would have had the strength to stand my ground and stop things

you held me in that one last hug before you left for basic? It was a magical moment that I can still close my eyes and see you standing next to your car as I walked towards my door knowing I didn't know when I would see you next.

the first letter you wrote to me or you got one from me? I don't remember what it said but I know I was so glad to hear from you. I remember all the fun stories you use to write me about log cabins and fireplaces. I lived for each of those letters, because I knew for a few moments you stopped what you were doing and thought only of me while you wrote those words on the paper. I loved knowing that I occupied part of your mind like you occupied so much of mine

the moment you got home from basic? I can see you stepping out of the van and thinking oh my god how is it possible that he looks even more amazing. I remember watching your sister hug you, and Christy being there too, then as if in slow motion you put your arms around me and gave me a hug. I was so glad you were home but so confused as to where we stood after all the crazy letters.

we would play putt putt behind movies 8 and the bets we made? I think you still owe me from losing some of those rounds. Did you lose on purpose? I loved being your friend and hanging out with you. I can still feel the thumping of my heart from the excitement of getting to be there with you.

you walked the streets of our neighborhood heartbroken? I remember wanting to make everything better for you and not knowing how to do that. As much as I wanted you to be available I didn't want you to be heartbroken to become available.

we were wrestling in the living room of my mom's house and you kissed me? Time stood still and you slowly leaned down and kissed me. It felt like everything in the world was finally where it needed to be. I felt like all of my dreams were beginning to come true with just one kiss.

we use to hang out at your apartment? I remember it so well. You always had Star Trek on your TV and crunch berry cereal to eat. We would often wheel in to Rally's on the way to your apartment. I remember my friends hanging over the balcony to talk to the guys downstairs. I remember sitting in your room with you and talking

you lit the heart shaped firework on the balcony? I remember feeling so touched at the effort you put in to doing that and then how happy I felt each time I saw the burn marks it left on the concrete.

I first said I love you? I remember telling you and I believe I scared you so bad. You didn't say anything back and just stared at me. It was ok because I did love you then, now and forever.

we stayed at the Thunderbird Lodge on our trip to MA? We, well maybe mostly you since I slept a lot, were so tired but no one wanted to give us a room to stay in as we didn't have a credit card and you weren't 21.

we camped in the tent in Doug's backyard? Laying next to you listening to the sounds of the world just outside our tent. Getting to be with you and only you it was wonderful trip.

Well that is act 1 of do you remember. I will work on Act 2.

The story continues

When I last left off on our story we had just became man and wife, Mr & Mrs. Jason French. Walking back down the aisle holding on to you it felt like I was floating. I was so excited about our future and what we would do and see. After the ceremony we had a small reception in the church parlor. We had a beautiful cake and punch reception. It was great to celebrate being married to you. I don't remember a lot of the details except feeding your cake and having fun with you. I know they wanted to open gifts and I vaguely recall doing so. Before I knew it someone told us how late it was and it was time to head off for our wedding night.
I went ahead and changed out of my wedding dress at the church. Then we were headed out in the world for the first time as a married couple. We spent our wedding night in the Space Odyssey room at Fantasuites. We had a crazy room with a space capsule 10 sided bed and moon crater spa tub with a waterfall. It was a beautiful night being with you. I do have to admit it felt weird to be their with you knowing it was finally OK since for so long it was bad to be sleeping next to you. To finally being laying next to you and not worrying about getting in trouble for being their was exquisite. There is nothing as wonderful as lying in your arms and slowly drifting off to sleep feeling you next to me.
The next morning when I woke up I got to spend my first day as a French. At check out time we gave up our room and headed back to your parents house. We got to hang out with some of your family, everyone thought it would be fun to see the all the other cool rooms at our hotel so we headed out for the hotel tour with your family. Imagine my surprise when they took them on a tour of our exact room. I tried really hard to not be completely embarrassed. Later, we decided to go ahead and eat the top of our wedding cake since we would be in Hawaii for our first anniversary and there was no way to get the cake there. So we all enjoyed another slice of our yummy wedding cake. The next few nights we spent at a regular hotel room. Then before I knew it, it was time for you to leave and go to Hawaii to find us a place to live.

100 reasons I love you and the list keeps growing

Last year for Valentine's day I set out to make you a list of 100 reasons why I love you. Since that day you have given me even more reasons. I am so proud of you and adore you for all that you are and all that you do. I couldn't have dreamt a better husband for myself you are all of my dreams come true and more.
I wanted to include your book I made you of the 100 reasons I love you on your site so you will always be able to see and remember all the wonderful things you are and do.

Click here to view this photo book.

You amaze me more each day

Who would have thought after knowing each other for 20 years and being married for 16 1/2 that you would surprise me with something new about you. You have always been my big strong hero. So it never entered my mind that you could have worries that I didn't know about. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your thoughts and concerns.

I am enjoying getting to know the depth of who you are. I know that is so hard for you to let me in and I feel honored to be allowed to in. You truly are an amazing soul and I feel so lucky to get share my life with you. You are my heart and soul, Jason, and I love you dearly.

Thank you for all your help

Jason you have been so wonderful lately and I wanted you to know that I appreciate all that you have done for me lately. You are so amazing and thoughtful. I am so lucky to have you. Thank you for taking your time off work so I could be at Liam's school volunteering. I love doing that so much and it means a lot to me that you would take the time to help be able to do it. I also am so grateful for you for staying home so I didn't have to try and take the kids with me to Logan's adoption hearing. It was nice to be out with out the kids to worry about. I am truly blesssed to share my life with you. Thank you for all that you do for us. You are awesome and I love you so much.

21 Ways to Say "I Love You" (Without Saying a Word)

Redbook readers — and their guys! — share how they show their love.

By Sara Anderson

You already know it's important for you and your guy to tell each other "I love you" — as often as possible. But you shouldn't depend on those three little words to let your one-and-only know what's in your heart. In fact, nonverbal displays of affection are often a better way to get through to the man in your life.

"Guys tend to be action-oriented, so they feel less comfortable using words to express emotions," says REDBOOK Love Network expert and psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. "They've seen enough Tom Hanks movies to know they're supposed to always say 'I love you,' but they're not sure that words alone convey how they feel."

Ready to let what you do speak louder than what you say? We asked REDBOOK readers and the men in their lives to share some sweet ideas. Plus, we added in some expert tips on how to give your love a boost without uttering a word.

"Sometimes I 'write' a love message on my husband's breakfast toast. Using cookie cutters, especially my Valentine's Day set of hearts, I press one lightly into a slice of bread, just hard enough to imprint it, then I toast it. It never fails to bring a smile to his face." —Anita Crehan, Mason, NH

ROMANCE, REVISITED

"Every now and then I leave a card saying how much I love and appreciate him under his pillow for him to find before he goes to sleep." —Cim Collins, Springfield, IL

"My wife, Leigh Anne, sometimes has to travel for work, and when she gets home, I give her a small gift for every day she has been gone. I'll set them on the kitchen table and wait for her to notice them — things like her favorite perfume, fresh flowers, or a cool piece of hand-made jewelry. I love to spoil her!" —John Montgomery, Birmingham, AL

"I place special little love notes, cartoons, jokes, or small articles — sometimes racy ones — in her underwear drawer. She never knows what to expect next. She gets a big kick out of them and knows it is my way of saying I love her." —Joe Cirillo Jr., Englewood, FL

"When I take a shower at night, I write messages on the fogged-up mirrors so they appear when he takes a shower in the morning before he goes to work." —Jackie Peirce, Oley, PA

MAKE LIFE A LITTLE EASIER

"My husband puts toothpaste on my toothbrush and leaves it lying on the sink for me every night before bed. He is the sweetest husband ever!" —Lisa Wilkes-North, Heath, TX

"I scour the TV listings for his favorite movies or a sporting event that I know he'd love to watch. I TiVo it without telling him, then surprise him with it on Saturday morning. Bonus: While he's on the couch, I've just bought myself some me-time. Manicure, pedicure, here I come!" —Cindy Panowicz, Grand Island, NE

"Before my husband leaves for work, he sets the table for my breakfast. He lays out a bowl for cereal, a cup for orange juice, strawberries, a napkin, and a spoon. For a big, manly union guy, this is a really major step!" —Patricia Armstrong, Danvers, MA

"I love that my husband gets up every morning when I do. His job doesn't start till 9, so he could easily sleep later than me, but he doesn't. While I get ready, he gets our three kids dressed and loads them into the van with their backpacks. To me, this is one of the best ways he can say he loves us all." —Jeanette Dominguez, El Paso, TX

SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION

"We brag about each other when we're out with our friends — even if it's about something little, like 'Oh, Barry had the best idea the other day' or 'Barry fixed the whatsit that's been leaking!'" —Jennifer Starr, Columbus, OH

"For Christmas, I bought a dictionary and went through it, highlighting all the definitions that describe him or remind me of him." —Jaynee Germond, Roseburg, OR

"Every morning before I get up, he leaves two folded towels in the bathroom for me for when I take a shower — one big towel for my body and a smaller towel for my head." —Amy Rossi-Espagnet, Atlanta

EXPERT CHALLENGE: SHOW HIM YOUR GRATITUDE WITH A BEAR HUG
"The number one complaint I hear from guys is they feel like they don't get rewarded for the things they do, only told what they didn't do. Next time your man takes out the trash without being asked or starts the coffee pot for you in the morning, reward him with a 30-second full-body hug. Guys are so physical — it's easy and teasy." —Toni Coleman

"In the wintertime I start my husband's car in the morning so it will be toasty warm for him on his way to work." —Autumn Griffin, Canton, OH

HIGH-SPEED SIGNS OF DEVOTION

"I changed the banner on his cell phone to read 'I Love You' when he wasn't looking!" —Becky White, Newton, AL

"My husband and I send each other short e-mails to say what we are thinking about at that very moment. Once, he wrote me, 'The new Brad Paisley song makes me think of you.' Now every time I hear it on the radio, I'm reminded how much my husband loves me." —Michelle Magnetti, Colorado Springs, CO

"My husband gets up at 5:30 a.m., but he pulls his dresser drawers open the night before so the noise of them opening and closing won't disturb me. Now that's love!" —Connie Maynord, Bastrop, TX

SEND A SECRET MESSAGE

EXPERT CHALLENGE: POINT THE WAY
"Here's a suggestive sign he can't miss: Leave a trail of post-it notes in the hallway with arrows on them leading all the way to the bedroom." —Joyce Morley-Ball, Atlanta psychotherapist and author of Seeds for the Harvest of a Lifetime.

"Every time we kiss, we do it three times, which stands for 'I love you.' When my husband pulls out of the driveway in the morning, I stand at the door while he sets off the emergency light on his truck, also three times for 'I love you.'" —Peggy Clayton, Dubuque, IA

EXPERT CHALLENGE: DRAW HIM A MAP
"Use your eyeliner to give yourself a temporary tattoo — an arrow that starts at your navel and points down. Remember: Men are very visual!" —Scott Haltzman, M.D.

23 ways to celebrate your marriage from MSN Lifestyle

When you first met and got hitched, you couldn't stop gushing about married life and how wondrous it was going to be. In fact, the situation was so serious that your best friend, your sister, and even your mother were getting a little tired of hearing the details.

But then, after the wedding hoopla faded, you probably found that life kicked in at a wicked pace, your priorities got reshuffled, and you just didn't have time to sit back and reflect on your marital bliss. If you can relate, know this: "It's not the traditional stuff — the big dinner out once a year, or even the regular Saturday-night dates — that pulls you together and bonds you," says Constance Ahrons, Ph.D. "It's little bits of time stolen together and small, frequent gestures that remind you of what you have in common and your commitment to each other." Of course, no one's saying you should bag the annual dinner. But try these ideas from experts and couples, and you'll find that opportunities to connect and feel really good about your marriage are lurking everywhere, every day of the year.

1. Tell him you love him
Spill your most loving thoughts. "We tend to get caught up in complaining — he doesn't say this or do that — but it's so important to affirm out loud what a great guy he is, and why you fell in love with him, and love him so much today," says Gloria Richfield, Ph.D. Next time he cracks you up, pipe up about how incredible it is to be married to a guy with such a terrific sense of humor; or first thing in the morning, before your feet touch the floor, let him hear that whatever the workday holds can't faze you, since you know you'll see him that night.

2. Talk about the future
All new couples love to daydream about the future — the places you'll go, the parties you'll throw, the house you'll renovate — but that habit tends to fall by the wayside when you're in a long-standing union. To get that sense of anticipation going again, and make sure the coming years have the highlights you're hoping for, visualize the future together. Plan a romantic vacation, a wilderness adventure or something closer to home, like putting a Jacuzzi in your bathroom — and make it happen.

3. Give "just-because" gifts
Instead of going for big-ticket items on "real holidays," a writer and mom of three in California and her husband, Bill, give gifts when the appropriate occasion strikes, calendar be damned. "When I noticed that I was bored silly with seeing him in the same suit everyday, I took him shopping for a new one, and when he saw that a writer's conference was coming to a college near us, he signed me up to help my journalism career along," she says. "Those kinds of gifts make us feel connected, like we're looking out for each other all year long."

4. Keep a sex diary
"During our first anniversary dinner, after a little too much wine, my husband toasted our sex life and a particularly unusual spot in which we'd done the deed," says a portrait artist in Texas. "We began reminiscing and wrote down, in the back of my datebook, every place we'd ever had sex. Now, every anniversary dinner, we update that list, and if the new locations aren't numerous or exciting enough, we challenge ourselves to do better next year. It's silly but fun, and lets us obsess over our sex life a little."

5. Take the "happy" challenge
Your child's favorite shirt has gone AWOL. You've forgotten to mail the car payment for a week now. On top of all this, you're supposed to commit random acts of kindness for your husband? Well, yes, say the experts — you've got to make an effort to pamper that life partner of yours. "Ask yourself: 'What one little thing can I do to make this person happy today?'" suggests Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. It can be something as little as bringing a cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk or calling during the day to say, "I'm thinking about you." Those little touches make a guy feel appreciated, nurtured — and altogether in love with the institution of marriage.

6. Toast each other
Recognize the good stuff regularly. "We inherited this huge champagne glass from my grandparents — it holds almost a whole bottle of bubbly — and any time we have an excuse, we bring it down and drink to our life together," says one woman who works at a law firm. "We've used it on anniversaries, when we closed on our house and when either of us got a promotion or a new job." So if you didn't receive a pair of champagne glasses as a wedding present, buy some now and put them to use — often.

7. Get your picture taken
If you're like most couples, the only recent photograph you have is of your forearm bracing your child as she tries out her new Jolly Jumper. Invest in having a professional photo taken of you and your man, frame it, and squeeze it in between those baby pictures covering the hallway wall. That permanent record of the two of you, beaming at each other, will reinforce your happy state of togetherness whenever you glance at it.

8. Avoid usual topics
When you do have some quality time together — maybe on Sunday morning while the kids are watching cartoons — don't let conversation fall into the usual ruts, says Dr. Wallerstein, be it complaining about the boss or strategizing how to get your toddler to eat something other than peas. "Really talking — about your hopes, say, or your innermost thoughts — has an energizing effect on the relationship and helps you better know and appreciate each other," she says.

9. Re-create your early bonding ritual
Were the two of you knocked out by a particular film on one of your first dates? Rent it. Is there an album that served as the soundtrack to the summer you fell in love? Play it — often. Or did you used to meet for a drink at that little bar near the bookstore? Go there again. All will remind you of those heady early days, and give you ample opportunity to note how your love has deepened since.

10. Check on your sleeping children — together
The ideal time to moon over them is when they're soundly asleep, like angels. Tiptoe in together and revel in the fact that you made these wondrous little creatures. And remember, be very, very quiet.

11. Plant something
Some couples talk about how satisfying it is to plant a tree in their yard and watch it grow bigger and stronger every year with their marriage. If you can't commit to something that major, even a houseplant the two of you nurture will do. "We've got this one plant that's been everywhere with us," says a mother of two in Seattle. "We had it in Boston, when I was in grad school; it moved to Michigan, to Seattle, back East, then back to Seattle again with us. Every now and then, as we water it or move it to a new spot, we'll think about all the places we've been and how, like the plant, we're still going strong, no matter where we live."

12. Declare an extra anniversary (or two)
Should the only celebration of your marriage be that one fancy-dinner-with-good-bottle-of-wine a year? No way. Add both the day you met and the day you got engaged to the calendar as excuses to go out or give each other a special gift (even a simple candlelit massage counts). To push things further, listen to a mother of two in North Carolina: "I've been really inspired by a couple I know who celebrate their 'month-a-versary' — they make a big fuss over each other on the date of their wedding, every month. Hard for me to pull off, but a good goal to aim for."

13. Meet someplace all dressed up
Decide to rendezvous at, say, a bar or museum, but you do your makeup and wiggling-into-sheer-black-stockings routine at the office while he puts on a great dinner jacket and tie at home. When you then (surprise!) see each other looking your best, you'll each realize what a dude/babe you've landed and feel that much more intoxicated with one another.

14. Feather your nest
Futon couches are for single folks. Now that you're married, acquire the goods that married folks get to have, like a dining room set. Or, follow the example of one New York couple and become art collectors: "Over years we've bought paintings or photos on themes we're interested in. They're permanent, visible, and they remind us of shared passion in our lives."

15. Say it with flowers
Who, if not your spouse, is going to greet you at the door with a bouquet of roses? The point of this rhetorical question: to get you back into that early-dating ritual of giving flowers — a gift that serves no purpose other than to delight the recipient's senses. Keep in mind that it's not a one-way street. See what a bunch of tiger lilies does for his mood.

16. Keep notes
"My husband and I work different shifts, so we barely talk during the week," says a mother of two in Michigan. "So we leave notes for each other in a spiral notebook. Like I'll say, "Last night was awesome!" and come home to find a funny little comment he's added on. Sometimes I flip through the book, and it brings back a lot of good, recent memories about our life together."

17. Walk arm in arm
Or hold hands. Or spoon at night for a couple of minutes, even if you can only fall asleep with your backs toward the middle of the bed. In case you hadn't noticed, physical affection — and not just of the sexual variety — is one of the loveliest perks of marriage. Indulge in it often.

18. Bank on it
In the olden days, women known as "housewives" had this stuff called "mad money" — just-in-case funds for an emergency or, more likely, an unexpected splurge. One North Carolina woman adapts this tradition for modern-day life by trying to pay for things with singles, five-dollar bills, whatever, and putting all the change into a piggybank as a special anniversary-dinner fund. For more immediate gratification, you can use the cash for, say, buying a nice bottle of wine or dinner when the kids have sleepover dates.

19. Give the right thing
"Hokey as it may sound, my husband and I follow that 'give something paper on your first anniversary' tradition," says one woman. "I like it because it makes us feel part of a tradition, as if we're somehow linked with all the eons of married people, and so on." But that doesn't mean the gifts have to be old-fogey-ish. "We just celebrated our third anniversary — the leather one — and bought each other very cool jackets."

20. Get a "married folks" hobby
Sure, you each need your own separate interests to keep you stoked and give you something to talk to the spouse about. But there's something to be said for having a shared pastime. Golf, bridge, and the like are getting popular again. Maybe it's because they provide time to bond as a couple, have all sorts of fun little rituals (think tees, monogrammed balls, gaudy golf wear, and we haven't even hit on that addictive chocolate bridge-mix yet) and give you a chance to meet and hang with other couples.

21. Prick up your ears
"If one of us mentions that we really, really want something, we make it our mission to make it happen," says one woman in New York. "My husband had once said he would love a surprise party on his 40th birthday, so when it came around, I surprised him with a real blowout — an evening dinner cruise on a yacht. It was a total life highlight for us, definitely worth all the planning and expenses. You've got to seize those opportunities to really indulge one another."

22. Find an out-of-the-house meeting place
Once every month or so, have breakfast with your husband at the same local diner on your way to work or sneak out of the office at 5 p.m. sharp for drinks at a cozy neighborhood bar — it'll give you time to connect and make the two of you feel that you have a special place, no matter how ordinary. Couples today, especially those with kids, have so little time together. Forget that Saturday-night-date stuff and steal time from the workweek. Your job will still get done.

23. Hang out with single people
There are two ways to make this work for you. One, you and your husband invite some single folk (or even better, an engaged couple) over for coffee and bask in their somewhat envious gazes and their relentless curiosity about your life. You've got what they're dreaming of, and your little klatch will help you appreciate that a bit more. Or slide into a corner table at a singles hangout with your husband and watch the mating ritual over a cold beer. The two of you have come a long way — and to a fantastic place — haven't you?

Happy Valentine's Day

I interupt this story of us to say Happy Valentine's day to my wonderful husband of 16 years. As I type this blog he is in the kitchen making breakfast for us this Valentine's day. He has taken the day off work so that he can stay home with kiddos while I go to Liam's school and help with his class Valentine's day activities and party.

Jason~ I adore you more than words could every tell. You are the light in my eyes, the love in my heart and the soul of my being. Thank you for always standing by me and up for me. You truly are an amazing man and I feel extremely lucky that I get to share my journey through life you with you by my side, holding my hand and loving me like you do. Thank you honey for all that you do, all that you are and all that you have shared with me. I LOVE YOU Forever and a day.