I am so thankful for you this Thanksgiving.

As I snuggled in bed with you this morning of the eve of Thanksgiving I placed my hand on your chest and felt that comforting beat of your heart. It filled my heart with such comfort just feeling your life force beneath my hand. Then you shifted and my hand fell from your chest and on to your arm. You immediately placed your hand over mine and I cried as you slept holding my hand. I meant even more to me when you said you weren't awake when you did it. I love you honey you mean so much to me and I love just being next to you and feeling your skin on mine. Having you next to me fills my heart to full. I love your touch, your soul, YOU.

Then as I stood in the bathroom, while you were downstairs with the kids I kept creeping back to the first days of our marriage. How scared I was because I loved you so much but you seemed to be pulled away from me emotionally. It broke my heart to feel this big void between us. I was so scared that you didn't really want to be with me. I saw that you loved me but that void scared me and made me think you didn't really want to be there. I was so confused that you chose to be with me but than pushed me away. I know it hurts you when I ask you about it but it also hurts me when I think about it, I feel like I let you down and wasn't enough for you. But then today as I stood thinking of you and how things are now it dawned on me that perhaps the void I felt was your self protection. That you grew up not feeling that close to your family and perhaps you were scared of going there with me. Then I thought about how far you have come in the 20 years and I know how scared you were to come out of that box. I am so glad that you trust me with you. I have loved getting closer to you and learning about you. Thank you for letting me in.

I love this new place we are at. I never would have dreamt we would be here. That we would be able to play, share, and be together the way we are. So this Thanksgiving, I am feeling so thankful for you and that you chose me to get to be with you for the rest of our lives. I love you my honey. Thank you for you being you with me.

I love you so very much.

Roller Boy, I love you.

Honey, I loved watching you skate this weekend. It brought back so many wonderful memories of going to the rink and watching you as skate guard. You were/are such an amazing skater and I was always so proud to say you were mine. The look on your face as you skated around the rink was the same look I use to see 20 years ago. You looked so free and happy. You had that adorable little smile and you could just see how much you were enjoying yourself.

I am so proud of what you have accomplished for yourself in the past few weeks you have been competing in the Biggest Loser Contest at work. I know it's not working as fast as you would like but you are always making progress and that is what matters. I love the dedication and determination you are showing. I am so proud of you honey. You amaze me.

Happy New Year Honey

What a wonderful winter break it was to be able to spend 2 weeks with you and the kids. Thank you for all you did during your vacation for us. It was so nice to get to just be together for a while. I am so blessed to have you and though I don't always do a great job of telling you and showing you I am very grateful for you everyday. I love you Honey.